Mortal Engines (2018)

I am just going to say this, the movie sucked. Period. I originally thought this would be, and I quote myself, “the Pirates of the Caribbean but on land” kind of movie. Nope, dead wrong. The best parts of this movie were what you most likely saw in the trailers.

You know how I talk about scenes that make your emotions run or hair stand up? Yeah, this film had maybe two of those moments’ tops. I sat there with the same disdain I had for Star Wars Episode 8. Now that I remember that day (somewhat), I think I saw this trailer while watching that…

I won’t try to fill this with talking about the basics. Save yourself the trouble and skip this one.

If you want to know my thoughts, you can read below…

The movie had some interesting visuals and scenery shots which make the world interesting and appealing but those are only surface deep. The movie doesn’t go much deeper than that while leaving a lot of questions unanswered. It doesn’t really explain the past and what they do explain doesn’t add up. Everything just looks fake, I mean the sets, and scenery used in a lot of the closeup shots. Maybe it was the lighting and camerawork, but it really does feel cheap. The characters are only surface deep as well with no development. You learn about our Heroines past and the most interesting character isn’t even a real person. Some reanimated man which they don’t even explain. Reminded me a lot of Nick Valentine from Fallout 4.

The acting was alright, can’t complain about that too much (mostly because I can’t act). It just didn’t really get a rise out of me. It wasn’t spectacular, mediocre at best. I just had a problem with this movie so maybe that set the tone early which spoiled it. I wanted it to be good, I really did.

The only theme I could come up with was how London used to be a world superpower and push its weight around like king shit before being crushed by a group of rebels. Sounds like the 1700’s to me. Except this time with giant tanks. Tanks so big the landmasses they drive around on don’t make sense, strictly speaking size wise.

Avoid this movie. I give it one star, I wanted to give it two for some good visuals and creativity, but I need to be honest. If you haven’t seen it, save yourself the trouble and go watch something else. Seriously, it offers nothing. I could have used that time to bake muffins or have a nice dinner with family. Honestly, I could have probably come up with something better.

In other news, since I am a book reader, I might add the books to my collection. Maybe they will help shed light on what the hell I wasted my time watching.

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